That which has been is that which will be, and that which has been done is that which will be done. So there is nothing new under the sun. Ecclesiastes 1:9 NASB
There was a young lady who was a Christian, she came from a loving Christian family and she loved the Lord. She was so full of joy and destined to do great things for God. A time came when she left her family and went to a church conference. There she met so many people just like her. She made so many new friends and was so grateful for this opportunity. Then one day the unthinkable happened. A leader from the church raped her. She was horrified and ashamed. How could this happen to her? She told her family and people from the church were notified. She was told that they will take care of the situation but to keep it silent. She was asked not to go to the police but to let the church handle it. Her rapist denied the allegation and the church sided with him so that nothing would come to light. He was asked to step down, take a leave of absence and get counseling. The young lady’s family tried to protect her and promised that one day she would heal. She was told to forgive and move on. She was mortified and left the area. She ended up leaving the church all together and questions her faith and even the things she was taught about God. She had been betrayed by the institution she grew up in all her life. She had nowhere to turn.
In October 2017 the hashtag #MeToo went viral. It gained popularity amongst celebrities and many women who began to share their stories of sexual assault. It became popular after the stories broke about Harvey Weinstein, a powerful Hollywood producer. Stories came out from multiple women about the culture he created and was able to continue for so many years. As more women came out other stories surfaced about men in Hollywood and the media. Many of these stories happened many years prior and more women had the courage to tell their story. Even though the spotlight was on celebrities and powerful media personalities, many women who are not in the spotlight began to share their stories.
Of course there has been a backlash because many men’s careers have been ended. Some feel it is very unfair because they are found guilty before the evidence has been shown. Also, people have asked why these women have come forward now. Why not when it happened?
The church is not immune to the #MeToo movement. There are so many stories like the young lady in this article. Our culture in the church is to cover up, and tell these women to forgive and move on. We often protect the abusers to keep up some kind of appearance. Instead we are losing a generation of young people who want nothing to do with church or our God. As a church we must do better. We can’t ignore their cries for justice. It is not just a Hollywood thing or a problem with those organizations outside the church. This movement should give us pause and examine ourselves and allow the truth to come out.
I am quite disturbed that even in the national arena we are still publicly supporting the accused and doubting the victims. We question the victims’ motives, and assume they are liars out to get even or wanted to get paid. We fail to see that the norm is women being abused and the abusers never having to give an account for what they have done.
For many of these women their lives are destroyed. They must live with the shame, guilt and doubt of what has happened. Their view of the world is tainted and they are never the same. So much of their livelihood is lost and they watch their abusers continue to live a carefree life.
What is interesting is this is not new. We can find stories in the bible about the same issue. We see that even culturally men have been believed over women. Women have been dragged out to be stoned and accused of adultery and the men are hidden. Think of the woman that the Pharisees dragged to Jesus and said she was caught in adultery. They wanted to trap Jesus’ so they used this woman and humiliated her but nowhere are we told about the man that was with her.
Even though society and culture have blamed women in these situations, God has not. So let us look at what the Bible says.
In 2 Samuel 13 we are told the story of King David’s daughter Tamar. She was a virgin. She wore a beautiful robe which was a sign of her virginity. Amnon was King David’s first born. Amnon was obsessed with Tamar his sister. She was his half-sister since they had different mothers. Amnon was so in love with Tamar that it made him sick. One day he conspired to have King David send Tamar to his room to make him a cake because he was “ill” in bed. Tamar came and baked him the cakes, then he asked her to feed him the cakes. When she went to his side he ordered everyone out of the room and he grabbed her and Tamar protested and asked him not to do the thing he wanted to do to her. She told him to ask the King to give her to him in marriage. Amnon didn’t listen and he raped Tamar. After raping her, he hated her more than he loved her. He told her to go away and she once again protested and said if he sent her away that would be worse than the rape itself(Deut. 22:28-29 states that if a man raped a virgin he was supposed to marry her.) Nevertheless Amnon sent Tamar away; she ripped her robe and put ashes on her forehead. She ended staying at her Brother Absalom’s home as a desolate woman. King David, her father, learned of the rape and did nothing. Her brother Absalom full of hatred and revenge killed Amnon two years later.
History continues to repeat itself. Victims or sexual assault are cast to the side. They are left with the guilt, shame and rejection by society to carry with them for years to come. In that moment of terror their lives are forever changed. King David failed Tamar and as a result also lost his sons to their own sins.
However, God is different. He knows the cries of his daughters and he holds the men accountable. God held David accountable for his affair with Bathsheba. Judah realized he was less honorable than his daughter-in-law Tamar by not keeping his promise to her and lying with her because he assumed she was a prostitute since her face was covered by a veil. Men have constantly allowed their lusts to get them in sinful situations that God holds them accountable to.
As we wonder why the #MeToo movement continues to gain traction, we cannot ignore that God is revealing things that have been done in darkness for so long and is now coming to light. The Holy Spirit convicts the world of sin, so when sin is exposed we are told to repent. This is an area the church needs to repent and individuals. We serve a redemptive and loving God. So when things like this are exposed He gives an opportunity for us to tell our truth and be redeemed from the guilt and shame. This also includes the accused. Jesus died for our sins and His blood was shed to cover those sins. However, we must acknowledge what we have done. We have to stop deflecting or ignoring what is going on. God is calling us to turn from our wicked ways. There also may be a consequence for our sin but we cannot blame the victims or God. There is the risk of losing a career, a promotion, and favor with others. However, we must be willing to purge the evil that is amongst us and in our house. As a church we have to begin with us. We cannot be light for these victims if we do not deal with this issue in the church. We have to do better in loving, protecting, and acknowledging what is going on. The abusers must be held accountable.
I don’t know what would have happened David’s family, if he had acted on Tamar’s behalf. At the very least he could have restored her status in his household and kingdom. He knew that God is a redeemer and God could have redeemed his daughter. David also knew the law and his son Amnon may still have had to die because of his sin, but since David chose not to deal with this issue his other son did and it resulted in such heartache for David.
One day as leaders we will stand before God and give an account for how we cared for His sheep. We must give an account for any that stumbled in their faith because of issues we decided to ignore. My hope is that more women will come forward and tell their stories, which we will believe them and God will restore all that they have lost. We have to change the culture and not tolerate this behavior. If we take care to do it in the church then we will have the authority to impact other areas of society. Pay attention to what God is doing because He knows our hearts and he hears the cries for justice. We reap what we sow.
Then I looked again at all the acts of oppression which were being done under the sun. And behold I saw the tears of the oppressed and that they had no one to comfort them; and on the side of their oppressors was power, but they had no one to comfort them. Ecclesiastes 4:1 NASB
Reflections 